Flirt

You decide to find an alternate way to pacify this sturdy opponent. You slink towards him and ask if he'd like to take a few minutes off guard duty to have a little fun? He is sheepish, but accepts. You start slow - you're not sure where to start on a literal statue.

He turns out to feel less stony than he looks, but certain things are still rock-hard. He growls low and needily and pulls you toward himself. This hunky piece of statuary must not have had any action in centuries! The two of you go at it fiercely, and after what must be hours you rest together in the afterglow. When you go to get up, your legs feel heavy. You look down. Your legs have turned to stone, and the rocky texture is still creeping upwards. You have caught gorgon-hepatitis! You die!